The purpose of waiting for Marriage

We’re talking this upcoming week in our Youth Ministry about waiting, which includes setting boundaries. I know many of you have probably already seen this video, but it’s still great, and we’ll be showing it to lead into the message.

As a Youth Pastor, my favorite part is “My Parents always wanted me to marry a Youth Pastor, they didn’t care much about me being provided for.” But in terms of the talk for this week, it’s a good illustration for why we wait. Do we wait just for the sake of waiting?

I can’t help but think of the post that was making the rounds several months ago about the woman who saved herself for marriage, and regretted it after her honeymoon. I can’t help but think back to my own days of being a High Schooler and hearing this talks, and getting the pledge cards to save myself, and all the “True Love Waits” and “Silver Ring Thing” tours our groups did.

But as we prepare for this talk, and as others do too, there is a lot of information out there we can and should present our students, and a lot of different angles to go about the lesson. But for us, we want to make sure we also explain things in a way that don’t lead students into believing these 3 big misconceptions about waiting for marriage.

1 | “If you have sex, you’ll get pregnant and aids and die.”

I feel like so often, this talk is given in such a fire and brimstone way. If you have sex, you’re going to get and STD. If you have sex, you’re going to get pregnant. And I’m not disagreeing with those things. But, we need to make just as clear that the danger in premarital sex isn’t just in getting a disease, but in developing the wrong view of what sex is, it’s role in relationships, how it plays out through life, and on and on. Just like the first two examples of disease and pregnancy, we want our students to know that this isn’t a guarantee result of having sex in High School, but it is a danger of not waiting.

2 | “Sex is Gross and a Sin”

We want Students to know that waiting for marriage Honors God, but not because God is anti-sex. Like the video above, the wife wants to keep honoring God by waiting past the honeymoon. Thats not honoring God, God isn’t anti-sex, God created it for a purpose and made it beautiful.

3 |” You’ll never have a good, Godly marriage if you don’t wait to have sex.”

Pre-marital sex leads to a whole slew of problems, it can create a false understanding of the role of sex, create trust issues in newlyweds, lead to addictions that break apart relationships. But it’s not guaranteed. Giving your past over to God, letting Him use and tell your story, you can still have a great and Godly marriage despite past mistakes. Not a get out of jail free card, but it can happen.


When you talk about this topic with your students, what do you make sure to talk about with them?

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